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Mother

Dear Mother, I wonder

What is it that you think of when you look at me?

Do you still worry and ponder;

Or are you filled with hope and wonder?

I wonder what you see when you look into my eyes –

Do you see sparkling seas raging within a carefree child;

Tiredness trying to be kept at bay;

Or a world of sadness you wish you could take away?

I wonder what you think of when you watch me walk –

Do you think of how tall I’ve grown?

Do you like the woman I’ve become;

Or are you disappointed in more ways than one?

I wonder what would go through your mind

When you realise I still love a man I shouldn’t;

When you find out I sulk myself to sleep;

If you knew the secrets I keep so deep.

I wonder what you would feel,

When one day I walk out the front door;

When I turn twenty-one or twenty-four –

Will you have learned to let me go?

Mother, I wonder why –

Why the world is so unkind;

Why I wasn’t taught to love or to let go;

Why do people treat me so?

I wonder why I always fall before I fail;

Why I wasn’t taught love does not prevail?

And I wonder, when one day Father will walk me down the aisle;

My dress will be longer than tower Eiffel;

With my hair up and makeup done;

Do you think my daughter will like her mum?

With love,

Emily.

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Photo by Angie Li

This poem goes out to all those who never know when to stop apologising; those that need to learn to live life unapologetically.

Sorry

I will not apologise

For the way my eyes sparkle

Or arch into crescents when I smile.

I will not apologise

For the way my hips sway

Or for the ripples in my body’s waves.

I will not apologise

For the way my hair falls

Or how it hangs in the wind.

I will not apologise

For the way my pinkies don’t meet

Or how I laugh at my own lame humour.

I will not apologise

For my selective nonchalance

Or my subjective beauty.

I will not apologise

For placing faith in fate

Or consciously trying to create coincidences.

I will not apologise

For being a hopeless optimist

Or a pedantic perfectionist.

I will not apologise

For the way I indulge in self-pity

Or how I exude excessive self-confidence.

I will not apologise

For choking on cries

Or the nights I rest my eyes on a wet pillow.

I will not apologise

For constantly caring

Or always loving.

Don’t you ever apologise

For the way you’ve hurt me –

Because you have not the slightest idea what you’re sorry for.

And I will not apologise

For always having ‘sorry’ at the tip of my tongue.

With love,

Emily.

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iPhone 6 | Processed with VSCO

Weight of the World

I’ve got the world on my mind,

My mind in my head,

My head on my shoulders –

Shoulders you once leaned on;

That once felt your tears –

Shoulders that carry more weight

Now that you’ve disappeared.

I’m currently midway into week 9 of the second semester. I’m so tired, and I know I’ve been trying – but this definitely isn’t my best. My initial determination has dwindled down into nothingness. At the moment, I just really want to get by – but even that is proving to be an overwhelming challenge.  

I’m taking two steps forward, three steps back.

Let’s hope I find the strength (and myself) to pull through somehow. (At least Mid-semester break is just around the corner)

With love,

Emily.

Purple Dew | iPhone 6 | processed with VSCO

I never would have thought

That the first time I laid eyes on you,

I would want to

For the rest of my life.

Little did I know

That I would find myself in you,

Completely love you

For the man you are.

I never believed

In love at first sight

Or soul mates,

But I saw all that change.

And you change -

Now on every New Year’s Day

I will remember every detail - 

From the soccer game

To your long embrace.

On every 14th day of the first month

I will be reminded of car rides,

Of clear water, of ducks,

And our first kiss.

Every 22nd day of April

Is the day I wish never came - 

To see your tears

Shimmer under the light.

And on every 22nd day of May

I will wish you knew

What I would give

To be with you.

Hello – for the first time!

First meetings are always exciting, aren’t they? The very first wave; first friendly smile; the first time your eyes meet; the very first flying sparks – they signify the start of something beautiful that will begin to flourish right in front of your very eyes.

Noise and Nuance is the brainchild of yours truly – a project I have been sitting on for a very long time but never actually coming into fruition. Now that it’s up, I am so excited to begin sharing my work, and even more eager to continue to develop and hone my artistry.

Just as an introduction, I feel it may be necessary to elaborate briefly on the coming of Noise and Nuance:

The first thing that might strike you is the use of alliteration – I love alliteration. Absolutely love it – especially when you have words that are so paradoxical put together.

Secondly, Noise refers to unnecessary clutter that distracts from the things and people that truly deserve our undivided attention – all the high frequency buzzes that linger in our ears.

Nuance is quite self-explanatory – nuance refers to the minute details; the hidden double meanings; the underlying motives; the careful undertones – the intentional yet subtle makings of any form of communication.

There is noise and nuance embedded within our daily realities – something that constantly perplexes me and triggers thought. Ergo, Noise and Nuance very aptly underpins my perspective and sets the tone for my blog/portfolio.

I hope you will enjoy following me on my journey of discovery and perpetual attempt to reconcile conflicting realities. Most importantly, I hope my work connects and relates with you at some level – where I could possibly put into words the thoughts you are unable to articulate.

“Let Live, Let Love.”

With love,

Emily.