#4 – Thoughts.

As procrastination has overcome me this afternoon as I sit in the dimly lit corner of my favourite café, I am thinking about thoughts – quite literally. Thoughts.

Why do we develop ideas? Why do we think our thoughts? Why do we have the capacity to feel?

People say that, “Oh, it’s innately human,” or “it’s the human condition” – but aren’t those just human constructs? Social – even cultural constructs? They sound like an easy way to escape confrontation and pacify our ‘human’ desire to seek out reason. It’s the same with language – the language we use to communicate is a human construct – words and concepts coined and defined to suit our context; cater to our needs; and explain phenomena. (And yes – it’s ironic because I’m using written language to convey my message.) Then if ‘human construct’ is also a human construct, what exactly isn’t manmade?

Our ideas – Who? What? When? Why? How?

Does it hurt because you think it hurts? Is it hard because you think it’s hard? Does it seem impossible because you think it is? Does it make you happy because you think it does? Does the future seem bleak because you think of it as such? Do you not feel anything because you think you don’t?

Thoughts are dangerous things – yet sometimes, dangerously beautiful. Thoughts perpetuate ideas; imagination can beget an unsuspecting desire; a fleeting hypothesis can translate into the most stubborn of beliefs. In this sense, we all have control over our ideas, do we not?

I’ve been of the belief that as long as one possesses the willpower, there’s nothing that’s out of the question. “Where there’s a will, there’s a way”, right? As long as you set your mind to it, as long as you’re determined, as long as you’re willing to persevere and remain steadfast – insofar “the sky’s the limit”. Yet, this isn’t always the case.

Although our thoughts can be helped (most of the time), they are susceptible to ‘feelings’ – emotional urges or reactions – and feelings can’t be helped (again, most of the time, at least in my opinion). Sometimes it’s a strong hunch, or a lingering intuition – just an inexplicable feeling about something or someone. It’s the classic case of thinking you know something, but having no basis of justification; when you think it’s a certain way but you don’t actually know the truth or you can’t say for sure – you can’t exactly reason with ‘feelings’.

The essence is aptly encapsulated in this quote,

“The heart has its reason of which reason knows nothing.” – Blaise Pascal

With that said, every action is loaded with intention – nothing you say or do is without motive – either consciously or subconsciously, whether you realise it or not. Be cautious with your thoughts, with your ideas, with your words, and with your actions – but never close your heart off from ‘feelings’. I’ve come to realise that although it pains me and often puts me at a disadvantage, my capacity to love and care (or tendency to be nosey) is a blessing in disguise.

Borrowing the words of Marlee Banta (@marleemeghanbanta on instagram),

“I know the curses and blessings of feeling everything so incredibly deeply.”

And finally, after stringing together my disjointed thoughts into proper sentences, I decide to look up the meaning of ‘thought’ in the Oxford Dictionary of English:

Thought [n.] :- An idea or opinion produced by thinking, or occurring suddenly in the mind.

I guess my mind isn’t so mad after all.

With love,

Emily.